The wedding was incredible, easily the best day of my life. The honeymoon was a continuation of just that; 2 weeks in heaven to start off a wonderful marriage. I've got lots to talk about both of those matters, but given the significance of today's date I'm going to talk about one particular thing that happened while we were off on our honeymoon.
We were returning to our hotel one night and as we got out of the cab and walked to the entrance of the hotel a young guy (I'd say late 20s) holding a drink came up alongside me and said "hey pal." I looked at him at which point he said "I thought you were Osama's brother." I ignored him and walked away.
Now I was born in this country, I'm a U.S. citizen, I pay my taxes, I donate to charities, I vote, I contribute to the economy, I love my country and I wouldn't rather move to any other place, yet for the first time in my life I felt foreign than night. I felt unwelcome in the country that I had the right to be in, I had just as much right to be there as the guy who made me feel so very wrong for being there yet because of his one line I felt like I truly didn't belong. I didn't think something like that would bother me so much, after all I'm pretty good about taking things as light hearted as possible, but that one incident struck home.
And I began to wonder, had I just been really lucky since 9/11? Were there more people like him who would see me and based on the color of my skin would brand me a terrorist? What made me any less of an American than him? Haven't we been through this before? I thought the civil rights movement brought forth the idea that we can't just single out a group of people based on the color of their skin. For the first time in my life I wanted to leave, I wanted to be at home and I didn't want that home to be here.
It may not seem like much, after all it was just a 5 second interaction with some drunk jerk; drunk people say things all the time, get over it right? Well I am over it, but that isn't to say that I'm afraid of something like that happening again. I've said it before, that it all boils down to education and understanding of people and cultures other than our own.
Muslims don't hate Americans, that's just not how things work. My mom is a muslim and she'd never hurt a fly, she cried at 9/11, she donated to the relief fund, she condemned those who did it - just like everyone else. She isn't a fanatic, I'd say she follows the Qua-ran like many people follow the Bible, she doesn't interpret it strictly but she takes it to be a set of morals that she attempts to uphold in her daily life. And to those who don't believe it, must muslims are just like that. They don't walk around with AK-47s plotting ways to attack the West, they lead normal lives and have normal families just like everyone else. I've been to Iran around 5 times now, the only current example of a true Islamic state - did I see people running through the streets plotting to kill Americans? No, I saw normal people doing normal things. Sure their customs are different, but none of those customs include hating Americans. Yet I read through some of the discussions that happen online, even in our own forums, and I'm disgusted. I read statements of people who are clearly ignorant of what they are talking about, attacking people and cultures they don't understand. What if we were all judged by the acts of the D.C. sniper, McVeigh or Dahlmer? Everyone would think that any American was a crazed mass murdering psycho.
As I write this, I'm worried that my point won't get across, that everything I've said here will be dismissed at the hatred will continue. I was just as angry as anyone when the towers fell, I wanted to see someone pay, I wanted revenge - but we must all understand that the revenge isn't against every middle easterner you see. A group of people hated our government, so they took that anger and hatred not out on the government, but on over 3000 innocent people. What sense does it make to attack that group of people by targeting those that honestly have nothing to do with it, some of which are just as American as anyone else in this country.
Today we should all remember the tragedy of 9/11, but we must also remember not to let one tragedy lead us to another one. American doesn't mean white; keep in mind how this country was founded, the melting pot has evolved to include a few new shades but the fact remains the same that we are all Americans. I may not look like everyone else, but I feel the same attachment to this country - please don't make me feel unwelcome.
Take care.
We were returning to our hotel one night and as we got out of the cab and walked to the entrance of the hotel a young guy (I'd say late 20s) holding a drink came up alongside me and said "hey pal." I looked at him at which point he said "I thought you were Osama's brother." I ignored him and walked away.
Now I was born in this country, I'm a U.S. citizen, I pay my taxes, I donate to charities, I vote, I contribute to the economy, I love my country and I wouldn't rather move to any other place, yet for the first time in my life I felt foreign than night. I felt unwelcome in the country that I had the right to be in, I had just as much right to be there as the guy who made me feel so very wrong for being there yet because of his one line I felt like I truly didn't belong. I didn't think something like that would bother me so much, after all I'm pretty good about taking things as light hearted as possible, but that one incident struck home.
And I began to wonder, had I just been really lucky since 9/11? Were there more people like him who would see me and based on the color of my skin would brand me a terrorist? What made me any less of an American than him? Haven't we been through this before? I thought the civil rights movement brought forth the idea that we can't just single out a group of people based on the color of their skin. For the first time in my life I wanted to leave, I wanted to be at home and I didn't want that home to be here.
It may not seem like much, after all it was just a 5 second interaction with some drunk jerk; drunk people say things all the time, get over it right? Well I am over it, but that isn't to say that I'm afraid of something like that happening again. I've said it before, that it all boils down to education and understanding of people and cultures other than our own.
Muslims don't hate Americans, that's just not how things work. My mom is a muslim and she'd never hurt a fly, she cried at 9/11, she donated to the relief fund, she condemned those who did it - just like everyone else. She isn't a fanatic, I'd say she follows the Qua-ran like many people follow the Bible, she doesn't interpret it strictly but she takes it to be a set of morals that she attempts to uphold in her daily life. And to those who don't believe it, must muslims are just like that. They don't walk around with AK-47s plotting ways to attack the West, they lead normal lives and have normal families just like everyone else. I've been to Iran around 5 times now, the only current example of a true Islamic state - did I see people running through the streets plotting to kill Americans? No, I saw normal people doing normal things. Sure their customs are different, but none of those customs include hating Americans. Yet I read through some of the discussions that happen online, even in our own forums, and I'm disgusted. I read statements of people who are clearly ignorant of what they are talking about, attacking people and cultures they don't understand. What if we were all judged by the acts of the D.C. sniper, McVeigh or Dahlmer? Everyone would think that any American was a crazed mass murdering psycho.
As I write this, I'm worried that my point won't get across, that everything I've said here will be dismissed at the hatred will continue. I was just as angry as anyone when the towers fell, I wanted to see someone pay, I wanted revenge - but we must all understand that the revenge isn't against every middle easterner you see. A group of people hated our government, so they took that anger and hatred not out on the government, but on over 3000 innocent people. What sense does it make to attack that group of people by targeting those that honestly have nothing to do with it, some of which are just as American as anyone else in this country.
Today we should all remember the tragedy of 9/11, but we must also remember not to let one tragedy lead us to another one. American doesn't mean white; keep in mind how this country was founded, the melting pot has evolved to include a few new shades but the fact remains the same that we are all Americans. I may not look like everyone else, but I feel the same attachment to this country - please don't make me feel unwelcome.
Take care.
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Anonymous - Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - link
As so many people have empathized with Anand, I will forgo doing more of the same and counter part of post 154 with a few of my own experiences.The Bay Area (which includes Silicon Valley) is nowhere free from such 'BS'. I grew up there, went through middle school, high school, and college there. There's plenty of prejudice and discrimination by both majorities and minorities.
While in highschool, there was a definite racial identification with almost every group/clique/gang. And all of the violent outbreaks during my highschool years were race-related in the sense that it was something like Latinos vs Blacks, Whites vs Asians, or whatever.
After highschool, I had hoped that attending UC Berkeley would save me from such racial tensions, but it didn't. There were plenty of Asian-only and White-only cliques. Not to mention I had met plenty of students, who despite being born and raised in the Bay Area, avoided inter-racial contact and openly advocated against inter-racial dating.
While I was in school, I also interned at many companies in the Bay Area, where I also saw such 'BS'. Like at a software company that had an almost entirely Asian staff except for one White programmer (not me). There were many group meetings with him that would switch entirely into Chinese. And sometimes they'd even make fun of him in Chinese, and he wouldn't even know.
And I'm only 22 years old, so these aren't events that happened in some distant past.
Prejudice is everywhere. And it will never go away. You just have to hope that a little less of that prejudice gets spread to the posterity.
Unless there is something I'm missing, the situation with Anand and the drunkard doesn't seem like a big deal. I doubt that once that guy sobered up that he was going to go out and hurt random Middle-Eastern people. So like post 154 said, live your live Anand, and don't let the incident get you down.
Anonymous - Monday, September 20, 2004 - link
Anand,Individuals are smart, but people are frightened and ignorant. The common fear of terror isn't going to go away as long as the media and the politicians have anything to do about it. Alcohol brings it to the surface and when people are scared we're all one moment away from mob-violence.
Breathe easy that you walked away, but these feelings are more prevalent than we'd hope - they're just below the surface.
When the enemy is everywhere and nowhere, when we're led to believe we're in imminent danger, when all we have to go on is an ethinicity... there's little else we can do but regard that ethinicity with distrust, fear and in the extreme, hatred.
BTW, I'm a white Brit living in the USA. I live in Silicon Valley, and I'm happy to say I work and play in a very diverse area, pretty much free of all this BS. But I've been to more white-centric parts of the US, and it's not pretty.
Live your life Anand. Don't let the hate get you down.
Bill - Monday, September 20, 2004 - link
I don't see where the connection that seems to be automatically made between ignorance and political beliefs on a large part of these comments comes from, but maybe that is my ignorance.Mohamedm - Monday, September 20, 2004 - link
AnandCongratulations on the wedding. Shame slightly spotted by the incident, but these issues happen as before diamonds are polished they have rough edges that need smoothing as well. After moving to England as a babe, and spending the rest of my life there, and whilst contracting in NYC at the time of the awful disaster 9/11, then returning home, l was more alienated as a consequence of being a muslim and being British!. Amazing all the contracting roles dried up instantly, and all of a sudden l did not belong!, at the time l vividly recall thinking how proud l was to be British and always felt tremendous loyalty to my country. I have since settled in Orlando, FL - BUT still miss my home!. That is life and we have to learn to raise above it all. Keep educating the people of this world, and ensure we continue to learn in the process. Good Luck and Keep you chin high.
Paul - Monday, September 20, 2004 - link
Join the club. I wrote about a similar experience of my own at http://www.paulfarag.com/?itemid=138Niege - Monday, September 20, 2004 - link
Anand, this guy was a jerk; a big, stupid, bigoted, ignorant, close-minded, un-American jerk.Freedom of speech is also, fortunately, the freedom to be a jerk and there are some fine examples of that species here. We need jerks to remind us of the democratic (small 'd') values of tolerance and respect for others' opinions. It only becomes a problem when the rest of us allow the jerks to dominate political life or the media or speech.
As for myself, I am a generic white American who married a fine woman of Japanese-Portuguese descent; who had Black business partner; who had a Chicano spiritual mentor; who has had Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, and several varieties of pagan friends. A major lesson that I’ve learned is that any time I think I know everything and have the 'perfect' and 'only' solution is when I am riding for a big big fall. If I don't know about other people and their culture and religion and ways of thinking I will be narrow, close-minded, and ultimately incomplete human being. If I am a leader and don’t learn from them then I will do one-sided thinking and 'stay on message' no matter how wrong it is which will only lead to mistrust, disillusionment, and ineffectiveness.
When I was living in Hawaii, where there is no ethnic majority, I heard some quite disparaging and unflattering things about 'haoles', or white people, from the same kind of un-American jerks. It stung. But that was my home at the time and I loved it. I went home to my mixed-race wife and talked about it. When she and I first got married there was quite a bit of controversy in my family. We had to talk about that, too. We had to deal with it all. Easy? No. Necessary? Yes. That is part of living in a multi-cultural society. There will always be bigots. There will always be those who know the ‘right’ way to think and the ‘right’ thing to do. And it will be: for them.
There is no greater punishment for a bigot than to let him (or her) live in that miasma of negativity and hate that they call righteous. There will be no happiness for that person until all his hates are vanquished. And yet if one is conquered there will always rise another and another. It is a cycle of unending hatred and misery 24/7 and they’re welcome to it. Just don’t try to foist if off on me. Or you.
Hang in, Anand. Let it sting; talk about it, including with us, but don’t let that cretin cause you to shrink your horizons.
Anonymous - Monday, September 20, 2004 - link
Name calling and now death threats? Come on. Anandtech readers are better than this. Any clear thinking person would disagree with this Richard fellow but the rhetoric against him is terrible. Please,lets all lighten up and disagree more politely.Hokum - Monday, September 20, 2004 - link
There is a name for people like the drunk, i think the word is Knobhead...Also i read what you where saying about the fact you dont walk about with an AK47, maybe thats the problem? You dont blend in with all americans with AK47's or other automatic guns being carried :)
The problem is that people fear what they dont know, and the average american (or brit for that matter) doesnt know what muslims do and so fear them.
Scott - Monday, September 20, 2004 - link
The guy was drunk and said what he felt. It’s really tough for people to think like they should. Inner city blacks are thought of as gang members and such, doesn't mean they all steal - but what you're dealing with is a perception problem. Who are 90% of the terrorists? Middle East. So there you go. It goes both ways, not all Americans are loud and obnoxious, but Europeans sure thinks so. This is perception, or racial stereotyping if you will... and it isn't going away. It isn't fair, but people dying every day from terrorists isn’t fair either. I'm a white American and by default I'm racist against blacks, I don't like that - but that’s the way I'm portrayed. One last thing to all the negative American comments - sure, we have problems and we screw up, but ask yourself this: Would you rather have the USA as the dominant force in the world, or Russia/Iraq/Saudi/N.Korea/Etc? If one of them had our power, this post wouldn't exist, believe it.Dan - Sunday, September 19, 2004 - link
Wow, I just took the time to read all of these comments, and can say from a truly unbiased standpoint that there are a lot of good points here and a couple of redneck idiots who don't know what they're talking about.For you, Richard... or should I call you Dick? Yeah, Dick, it's a hardware review site with a weblog on it. Since there is now a pro-american anti-racist statement on it, it's obviously pursuing a political agenda, becuase you know computer hardware has a lot to do with politics, right?
As for the rest of you, keep up the argument, disagreement is what this country was founded on (see congress, the opposite of progress), and only by reading the opinions of others can we truly learn.
Or something like that, I guess this is the problem with freedom of speech.
Keep up the work Anand... I'm still a fan.