The wedding was incredible, easily the best day of my life. The honeymoon was a continuation of just that; 2 weeks in heaven to start off a wonderful marriage. I've got lots to talk about both of those matters, but given the significance of today's date I'm going to talk about one particular thing that happened while we were off on our honeymoon.
We were returning to our hotel one night and as we got out of the cab and walked to the entrance of the hotel a young guy (I'd say late 20s) holding a drink came up alongside me and said "hey pal." I looked at him at which point he said "I thought you were Osama's brother." I ignored him and walked away.
Now I was born in this country, I'm a U.S. citizen, I pay my taxes, I donate to charities, I vote, I contribute to the economy, I love my country and I wouldn't rather move to any other place, yet for the first time in my life I felt foreign than night. I felt unwelcome in the country that I had the right to be in, I had just as much right to be there as the guy who made me feel so very wrong for being there yet because of his one line I felt like I truly didn't belong. I didn't think something like that would bother me so much, after all I'm pretty good about taking things as light hearted as possible, but that one incident struck home.
And I began to wonder, had I just been really lucky since 9/11? Were there more people like him who would see me and based on the color of my skin would brand me a terrorist? What made me any less of an American than him? Haven't we been through this before? I thought the civil rights movement brought forth the idea that we can't just single out a group of people based on the color of their skin. For the first time in my life I wanted to leave, I wanted to be at home and I didn't want that home to be here.
It may not seem like much, after all it was just a 5 second interaction with some drunk jerk; drunk people say things all the time, get over it right? Well I am over it, but that isn't to say that I'm afraid of something like that happening again. I've said it before, that it all boils down to education and understanding of people and cultures other than our own.
Muslims don't hate Americans, that's just not how things work. My mom is a muslim and she'd never hurt a fly, she cried at 9/11, she donated to the relief fund, she condemned those who did it - just like everyone else. She isn't a fanatic, I'd say she follows the Qua-ran like many people follow the Bible, she doesn't interpret it strictly but she takes it to be a set of morals that she attempts to uphold in her daily life. And to those who don't believe it, must muslims are just like that. They don't walk around with AK-47s plotting ways to attack the West, they lead normal lives and have normal families just like everyone else. I've been to Iran around 5 times now, the only current example of a true Islamic state - did I see people running through the streets plotting to kill Americans? No, I saw normal people doing normal things. Sure their customs are different, but none of those customs include hating Americans. Yet I read through some of the discussions that happen online, even in our own forums, and I'm disgusted. I read statements of people who are clearly ignorant of what they are talking about, attacking people and cultures they don't understand. What if we were all judged by the acts of the D.C. sniper, McVeigh or Dahlmer? Everyone would think that any American was a crazed mass murdering psycho.
As I write this, I'm worried that my point won't get across, that everything I've said here will be dismissed at the hatred will continue. I was just as angry as anyone when the towers fell, I wanted to see someone pay, I wanted revenge - but we must all understand that the revenge isn't against every middle easterner you see. A group of people hated our government, so they took that anger and hatred not out on the government, but on over 3000 innocent people. What sense does it make to attack that group of people by targeting those that honestly have nothing to do with it, some of which are just as American as anyone else in this country.
Today we should all remember the tragedy of 9/11, but we must also remember not to let one tragedy lead us to another one. American doesn't mean white; keep in mind how this country was founded, the melting pot has evolved to include a few new shades but the fact remains the same that we are all Americans. I may not look like everyone else, but I feel the same attachment to this country - please don't make me feel unwelcome.
Take care.
We were returning to our hotel one night and as we got out of the cab and walked to the entrance of the hotel a young guy (I'd say late 20s) holding a drink came up alongside me and said "hey pal." I looked at him at which point he said "I thought you were Osama's brother." I ignored him and walked away.
Now I was born in this country, I'm a U.S. citizen, I pay my taxes, I donate to charities, I vote, I contribute to the economy, I love my country and I wouldn't rather move to any other place, yet for the first time in my life I felt foreign than night. I felt unwelcome in the country that I had the right to be in, I had just as much right to be there as the guy who made me feel so very wrong for being there yet because of his one line I felt like I truly didn't belong. I didn't think something like that would bother me so much, after all I'm pretty good about taking things as light hearted as possible, but that one incident struck home.
And I began to wonder, had I just been really lucky since 9/11? Were there more people like him who would see me and based on the color of my skin would brand me a terrorist? What made me any less of an American than him? Haven't we been through this before? I thought the civil rights movement brought forth the idea that we can't just single out a group of people based on the color of their skin. For the first time in my life I wanted to leave, I wanted to be at home and I didn't want that home to be here.
It may not seem like much, after all it was just a 5 second interaction with some drunk jerk; drunk people say things all the time, get over it right? Well I am over it, but that isn't to say that I'm afraid of something like that happening again. I've said it before, that it all boils down to education and understanding of people and cultures other than our own.
Muslims don't hate Americans, that's just not how things work. My mom is a muslim and she'd never hurt a fly, she cried at 9/11, she donated to the relief fund, she condemned those who did it - just like everyone else. She isn't a fanatic, I'd say she follows the Qua-ran like many people follow the Bible, she doesn't interpret it strictly but she takes it to be a set of morals that she attempts to uphold in her daily life. And to those who don't believe it, must muslims are just like that. They don't walk around with AK-47s plotting ways to attack the West, they lead normal lives and have normal families just like everyone else. I've been to Iran around 5 times now, the only current example of a true Islamic state - did I see people running through the streets plotting to kill Americans? No, I saw normal people doing normal things. Sure their customs are different, but none of those customs include hating Americans. Yet I read through some of the discussions that happen online, even in our own forums, and I'm disgusted. I read statements of people who are clearly ignorant of what they are talking about, attacking people and cultures they don't understand. What if we were all judged by the acts of the D.C. sniper, McVeigh or Dahlmer? Everyone would think that any American was a crazed mass murdering psycho.
As I write this, I'm worried that my point won't get across, that everything I've said here will be dismissed at the hatred will continue. I was just as angry as anyone when the towers fell, I wanted to see someone pay, I wanted revenge - but we must all understand that the revenge isn't against every middle easterner you see. A group of people hated our government, so they took that anger and hatred not out on the government, but on over 3000 innocent people. What sense does it make to attack that group of people by targeting those that honestly have nothing to do with it, some of which are just as American as anyone else in this country.
Today we should all remember the tragedy of 9/11, but we must also remember not to let one tragedy lead us to another one. American doesn't mean white; keep in mind how this country was founded, the melting pot has evolved to include a few new shades but the fact remains the same that we are all Americans. I may not look like everyone else, but I feel the same attachment to this country - please don't make me feel unwelcome.
Take care.
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Dan - Saturday, September 18, 2004 - link
First of all congratulations on your wedding, I have been happily married for 7 years and highly recommend it :)Second of all, I am sorry some dummy made an offensive remark to you, it is inexcusable. However, while we should all we can do to condem this type of behavior and try to convince people not to do it, I must say I am a bit surprised you have not had this happen before and that it has had such an emotional impact on you. Like you, I grew up in Raleigh, though I am was in middle school in the earily 80's. I went to a mostly black school (because at the time it was the only magnet school in the county) and I was acosted many times, and pushed around several times. Since I have been an adult, I have been called a "dirty howlie" (white person) in Hawaii, and a "Damned American" (or the local equivelant) in the Phillipines. I have had several different drunk people try to pick fights with me in the US in Raleigh and Los Angeles. Really, no matter where you go, I think there are some percent of the people who are mean and angry, and if you are around drunk people the percentage is much higher. It really sounds to me like a drunk looking to pick a fight and nothing more. Of course that does not excuse what he did and as I said before we should do what we can to prevent such things, but I do think you should try to be a little prepared for such things and not let them get to you so much. I doubt most people will live through their lives without such things happening unless they are never around drunk strangers.
Redneck Richard - Friday, September 17, 2004 - link
When a person claims to be a victim, I have come to think they are whining, wanting something for nothing. Just what is it you really want, Anand?I ask again, why did you write your blog? Why do you think it belongs here?
egarc - Friday, September 17, 2004 - link
#97 It is not ignorance that I believe almost all terrorists are Muslim, it is denial on yours. You have this intellectual facade but have not examined the facts yourself.The Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam have been quiet for almost three years and have not committed ANY acts of terrorism in that time.
The Irish Republican Army has not been considered a terrorist group since July 2002, although they do have two splinter groups that are still active.
If you look at the numbers, Islamic terrorist groups are the major majority.
Again, I do not believe all Muslims are terrorists, in fact the extremists are a small minority.
Signal - Friday, September 17, 2004 - link
Nick, I agree 100%. I too have a mostly German herritage and I've noticed an interesting phenomenon. The same people that, rightfully so, say we should not look badly upon Muslims due to 9/11, are some of the same people who give me a sideward, almost disgusted look when they learn of my herritage.Interesting is it not? Humankind is a strange beast.
Nick - Friday, September 17, 2004 - link
In the weeks and months after 9/11 I was amazed at the anti-Arab/anti-Muslim sentiment I was hearing from the kinds of people that I had previously thought were nice and normal. I was working on a TV show at the time and a lot of the crew members were laughing themselves sick making cruel Arab jokes. It really shocked me that seemingly intelligent people couldn't differentiate between al Qaeda and the Arab population at large. Then again, it's happened before. During World War II, most Americans considered all the Germans evil, not just the Nazis. Even now, as someone with mostly German heritage, it disappoints me to hear people offhandedly refer to Germans as Nazis. I guess some people just can't see more than one side to anything. It's mostly their loss, but it's also unfortunate that the rest of us have to put up with it.souka - Friday, September 17, 2004 - link
Hey Anand,You're born in the country, run for President in 20(?) years....
My $.02
Resh - Friday, September 17, 2004 - link
My roots, generations back are Tamil and Indian. My parents, and their parents, were born and raised in Mauritius, where the population is a total ethnic and religious mosaic. My Dad was raised Hindu and my Mom Catholic, despite her having a Hindu mother. We've lived in Canada since 1975 and have had dual citizenship since 1979, when I was 6.Canada is a great place to live, but we have our share of racists here so I'm familiar with Anand's experience as well as the sense of being considered to be potential terrorist, during visits to the US.
With my diverse background, and my own agnosticism, the notion of "loving" one's country has always intrigued me. I've often asked, "What is a country?". A "people" is simpler to define: common beliefs, language, societal norms, but country is tougher.
I've never figured it out, but it vexes me every time I hear (or read, in the case of Anand) someone say, "I love my country". What is it you love? Are you sure that your neighbour would agree with how you define your country and see that which you love in his own conception of the same country? Is what you love unique to your country? A very esoteric question, but one that I think everyone should consider given that some of us are willing to "die", or worse yet, "kill" for our country? Imagine a world was no one was willing to do either?
Secondly, while I wouldn't wish Anand's experience on him, his comments seem to indicate that he was blissfully unaware of the hateful forces that live just under the skin of all societies. As such, it was probably good that his "frame of reference" has been "fixed". I applaud him writing about this.
Lastly, 9/11 was a tragedy, but I can't accept, intellectually, that anyone of voting age, who lives in a democracy, is "innocent". If one votes for a government, one is indirectly responsible for it's actions. In fact, one could easily argue that citizens of democracy are more valid targets than citizens of a dictatorship since the latter have so say. To accept that the citizen is innocent is to do away with democracy.
At any rate, I fully agree with the posters that expressed the sentiment that we, as a species have to get around our artifical notions of "belonging", including county and religion, to recognize that we all just want to live our lives in peace. As such, I suggest Anand change his headline to, "I AM A PERSON". Those of you in the US have a choice to make soon. To my way of thinking, your choice is: Who will move my country towards what I want the world to be, not what I think it can be.
Simplistic? Yes, but also the only viable starting point.
richard - Friday, September 17, 2004 - link
Anand, well said.The USA is a country that belongs to all its citizens. Don't let your political leaders (Republican or Democrat) change that by whipping up unthinking anti-muslim or racist feelings for their short term political gain.
knitecrow - Friday, September 17, 2004 - link
When people classify each other on the basis of religion, race, and even nationality ... it only divides us. I consider myself first and foremost, a human being. It’s not something I am proud of either; most human beings are ignorant, arrogant apes. Heck, we give apes a bad name. Little has changed since the stone-ages. We find a reason to divide ourselves and to kill each other….Anand, you need to worry about not fitting in because of your skin colour / ethnicity. If you look at the population growth rate in different part of the world, the Indian sub-continent has the highest. I'll bet that eventually everyone will be brown, or some combination of Indian-Chinese.
On a shorter time scale, and looking closer to America, the influx from porous southern border if surely mean that most Americans will be some shade of brown and speak a language other than English as their first language. Most people probably can’t tell the difference between a Mexican and an Indian.
Food for thought.
James - Friday, September 17, 2004 - link
Congratulations on the wedding. I think you should ignore the drunk guy. It was a harmless comment, I bet it seemed funny to him at the time. I doubt he said that to hurt you. If it were me, I'd brush it off and wouldn't think about it. No point letting a drunkard ruin your day.