The wedding was incredible, easily the best day of my life. The honeymoon was a continuation of just that; 2 weeks in heaven to start off a wonderful marriage. I've got lots to talk about both of those matters, but given the significance of today's date I'm going to talk about one particular thing that happened while we were off on our honeymoon.
We were returning to our hotel one night and as we got out of the cab and walked to the entrance of the hotel a young guy (I'd say late 20s) holding a drink came up alongside me and said "hey pal." I looked at him at which point he said "I thought you were Osama's brother." I ignored him and walked away.
Now I was born in this country, I'm a U.S. citizen, I pay my taxes, I donate to charities, I vote, I contribute to the economy, I love my country and I wouldn't rather move to any other place, yet for the first time in my life I felt foreign than night. I felt unwelcome in the country that I had the right to be in, I had just as much right to be there as the guy who made me feel so very wrong for being there yet because of his one line I felt like I truly didn't belong. I didn't think something like that would bother me so much, after all I'm pretty good about taking things as light hearted as possible, but that one incident struck home.
And I began to wonder, had I just been really lucky since 9/11? Were there more people like him who would see me and based on the color of my skin would brand me a terrorist? What made me any less of an American than him? Haven't we been through this before? I thought the civil rights movement brought forth the idea that we can't just single out a group of people based on the color of their skin. For the first time in my life I wanted to leave, I wanted to be at home and I didn't want that home to be here.
It may not seem like much, after all it was just a 5 second interaction with some drunk jerk; drunk people say things all the time, get over it right? Well I am over it, but that isn't to say that I'm afraid of something like that happening again. I've said it before, that it all boils down to education and understanding of people and cultures other than our own.
Muslims don't hate Americans, that's just not how things work. My mom is a muslim and she'd never hurt a fly, she cried at 9/11, she donated to the relief fund, she condemned those who did it - just like everyone else. She isn't a fanatic, I'd say she follows the Qua-ran like many people follow the Bible, she doesn't interpret it strictly but she takes it to be a set of morals that she attempts to uphold in her daily life. And to those who don't believe it, must muslims are just like that. They don't walk around with AK-47s plotting ways to attack the West, they lead normal lives and have normal families just like everyone else. I've been to Iran around 5 times now, the only current example of a true Islamic state - did I see people running through the streets plotting to kill Americans? No, I saw normal people doing normal things. Sure their customs are different, but none of those customs include hating Americans. Yet I read through some of the discussions that happen online, even in our own forums, and I'm disgusted. I read statements of people who are clearly ignorant of what they are talking about, attacking people and cultures they don't understand. What if we were all judged by the acts of the D.C. sniper, McVeigh or Dahlmer? Everyone would think that any American was a crazed mass murdering psycho.
As I write this, I'm worried that my point won't get across, that everything I've said here will be dismissed at the hatred will continue. I was just as angry as anyone when the towers fell, I wanted to see someone pay, I wanted revenge - but we must all understand that the revenge isn't against every middle easterner you see. A group of people hated our government, so they took that anger and hatred not out on the government, but on over 3000 innocent people. What sense does it make to attack that group of people by targeting those that honestly have nothing to do with it, some of which are just as American as anyone else in this country.
Today we should all remember the tragedy of 9/11, but we must also remember not to let one tragedy lead us to another one. American doesn't mean white; keep in mind how this country was founded, the melting pot has evolved to include a few new shades but the fact remains the same that we are all Americans. I may not look like everyone else, but I feel the same attachment to this country - please don't make me feel unwelcome.
Take care.
We were returning to our hotel one night and as we got out of the cab and walked to the entrance of the hotel a young guy (I'd say late 20s) holding a drink came up alongside me and said "hey pal." I looked at him at which point he said "I thought you were Osama's brother." I ignored him and walked away.
Now I was born in this country, I'm a U.S. citizen, I pay my taxes, I donate to charities, I vote, I contribute to the economy, I love my country and I wouldn't rather move to any other place, yet for the first time in my life I felt foreign than night. I felt unwelcome in the country that I had the right to be in, I had just as much right to be there as the guy who made me feel so very wrong for being there yet because of his one line I felt like I truly didn't belong. I didn't think something like that would bother me so much, after all I'm pretty good about taking things as light hearted as possible, but that one incident struck home.
And I began to wonder, had I just been really lucky since 9/11? Were there more people like him who would see me and based on the color of my skin would brand me a terrorist? What made me any less of an American than him? Haven't we been through this before? I thought the civil rights movement brought forth the idea that we can't just single out a group of people based on the color of their skin. For the first time in my life I wanted to leave, I wanted to be at home and I didn't want that home to be here.
It may not seem like much, after all it was just a 5 second interaction with some drunk jerk; drunk people say things all the time, get over it right? Well I am over it, but that isn't to say that I'm afraid of something like that happening again. I've said it before, that it all boils down to education and understanding of people and cultures other than our own.
Muslims don't hate Americans, that's just not how things work. My mom is a muslim and she'd never hurt a fly, she cried at 9/11, she donated to the relief fund, she condemned those who did it - just like everyone else. She isn't a fanatic, I'd say she follows the Qua-ran like many people follow the Bible, she doesn't interpret it strictly but she takes it to be a set of morals that she attempts to uphold in her daily life. And to those who don't believe it, must muslims are just like that. They don't walk around with AK-47s plotting ways to attack the West, they lead normal lives and have normal families just like everyone else. I've been to Iran around 5 times now, the only current example of a true Islamic state - did I see people running through the streets plotting to kill Americans? No, I saw normal people doing normal things. Sure their customs are different, but none of those customs include hating Americans. Yet I read through some of the discussions that happen online, even in our own forums, and I'm disgusted. I read statements of people who are clearly ignorant of what they are talking about, attacking people and cultures they don't understand. What if we were all judged by the acts of the D.C. sniper, McVeigh or Dahlmer? Everyone would think that any American was a crazed mass murdering psycho.
As I write this, I'm worried that my point won't get across, that everything I've said here will be dismissed at the hatred will continue. I was just as angry as anyone when the towers fell, I wanted to see someone pay, I wanted revenge - but we must all understand that the revenge isn't against every middle easterner you see. A group of people hated our government, so they took that anger and hatred not out on the government, but on over 3000 innocent people. What sense does it make to attack that group of people by targeting those that honestly have nothing to do with it, some of which are just as American as anyone else in this country.
Today we should all remember the tragedy of 9/11, but we must also remember not to let one tragedy lead us to another one. American doesn't mean white; keep in mind how this country was founded, the melting pot has evolved to include a few new shades but the fact remains the same that we are all Americans. I may not look like everyone else, but I feel the same attachment to this country - please don't make me feel unwelcome.
Take care.
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Anonymous - Monday, September 13, 2004 - link
Drunk Guy - "Dude, seriously, I have a friend named Osama who has a brother that looks kind of like you. My bad. Why are you all tense? Did you just get married or something?"(hopefully that comes out funny and not offensive)
John - Monday, September 13, 2004 - link
Correction in my second statement, that should be minority and not majority.John - Monday, September 13, 2004 - link
Very well said, Anand."[...] I think you'll find that out of the 6 billion people on this planet, we're all more alike than it sometimes seems. It's just always easier to point out the few differences than it is to accept the many similarities."
I believe that this statement, combined with the extreme measures that the majority sometimes resorts to in order to "get their way" sums up 99.9+% of the social problems and tragedies that the world faces today.
John
Anonymous - Monday, September 13, 2004 - link
Anand, I think you are wrong on the Islamic State thing. Afghanisthan, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan etc. are self-declared Islamic states.For example, Pakistan calls itself "Islamic Republic of Pakistan". And there are many more...Anonymous - Monday, September 13, 2004 - link
Just curious.Why is Iran concidered the only true islamic state?
Why wouldn't Saudi fall under the same classification?
Anand Lal Shimpi - Monday, September 13, 2004 - link
Some of what I was talking about in my post is sadly even evident here. I'm going to respond to a few of the claims here not out of a desire to attack the posters but out of a desire to help educate as I have a bit of experience and knowledge in this area (not only because of my heritage but I've also studied middle eastern history).1) Islamic countries aren't "against" the Westerners. For starters, there's only one true Islamic state (Iran), the rest of the countries are hardly Islamic. Saying so would be like calling the U.S. a Christian country. The majority of the people in the country may be Muslim, but there's a huge difference between that and being an Islamic state. Last I recalled, sex before marriage was something that was frowned upon in many other religions, not just Islam. And there are many Muslim girls that wear miniskirts but most of them are over here, the culture over there has yet to accept that but I have no doubts that the fashion trends we see here will eventually migrate over there (whether that's a good thing or not).
2) The word Jihad has multiple meanings - and not a single one of them means "holy war." The actions of Al Qaeda have since given the word a very bad rap. There are three types of "jihad" in Islam: jihad of the heart, jihad of the mouth and jihad of the sword, I've listed them in their order of importance (as far as the religion is concerned). Jihad of the heart is basically a self-reflection, where you are supposed to reflect on yourself and try to make yourself a better person in the eyes of God (I believe a similar thing is encouraged in many other faiths). Once that is complete then jihad of the mouth is to spread the word of God and the teachings of the Qua-ran (once again, I believe this is similar to church-goers spreading the teachings of Christ). The final type of jihad is jihad of the sword (loosely translated) where it is a muslim's duty to defend the religion. Jihad of the sword is something that is rarely meant by muslims when they say jihad but it is what Osama Bin Laden and his followers are talking about when they use the word jihad. I'm not sure if there are any equivalents in other religions but I do believe most religions do call for their followers to uphold and defend the religion; how some followers may interpret that will vary obviously.
3) Most countries in the middle east aren't "against" the western countries, however they are very untrusting of the countries. The reason behind this really dates back to WWI and the Ottoman empire. The current map of the middle east was basically decided upon by Europe at the end of WWI. Unfortunately when drawing up the borders in the middle east, the prevailing countries in Europe didn't pay much attention to the cultural and ethnic boundaries in the middle east, instead they grouped people together in order to serve their interests. For example, Iraq was purposefully formed by putting regions of people together that definitely didn't get along and placing a leader in power who wasn't what the people wanted at all, but he was who the Europeans wanted. Imagine what our country would be like if someone combined Canada, Mexico, Cuba and the U.S. together and then appointed a President who none of us elected, agreed with or plain desired. The lack of trust came from a lot of shady deals the Europeans made with the middle easterners, and at this point in history the majority of the middle eastern countries actually *wanted* the United States to step in and take control of their countries. If they had to be occupied by someone, they would have liked to have been the U.S. Winston Churchill's 14 points made a huge impact on the middle east; I won't go into a more detailed description here but needless to say the problems in the middle east aren't all because of religious fanatics (some most definitely are).
4) As far as my mom (being a Muslim) marrying someone who isn't a Muslim, remember that not everyone who adheres to a religion follows every aspect of it (this applies to all religions). But to be honest, I'm not actually sure if the Qua-ran actually states anything about this.
5) I'm not here to critique religions, but I think you'll find that Islam, Christianity and Judaism are much more similar than some of you may think. Don't base your knowledge of any one of those religions on hearsay, take a class or study them impartially and I think you'll find that out of the 6 billion people on this planet, we're all more alike than it sometimes seems. It's just always easier to point out the few differences than it is to accept the many similarities.
6) As far as Muslims condemning terrorism, if you ask most people (regardless of religion) they will condemn the acts of 9/11. I have not met a single person who hasn't. That being said, don't take the actions of a government to reflect the ideals of a people. Just because a government doesn't denounce something right away doesn't mean that the people support it. I know our government does a lot of things that I don't agree with. I think this ends up being one of the biggest causes of problems in inter-cultural relations. The U.S. gave Saddam weapons to fight the Iranians with in the Iran-Iraq war, we supplied weapons to Al Qaeda as well, does that mean that Americans supported Saddam or Bin Laden? No. Don't judge the people by the actions of their government, I know there are a lot of Americans that didn't want to go into Iraq and definitely don't want to be there now - is it fair to judge all Americans by the actions of this government?
Remember that have been many times where the same sort of fear and hatred was prevalent towards another group of people; let's not let history repeat itself - not over something as tragic as 9/11. We need to learn from this, not respond with hatred - especially if you don't truly understand that which you hate. As I said before, there are 6 billion people on this planet and trust me, the 280 million that are in this country are not much different from the rest of the world. After all, it is the rest of the world that made up the people in this country - how could we possibly be all that different?
pooh - Monday, September 13, 2004 - link
My goodness, look at all these replies, all the sore feelings and hate. Kind of makes me ill.I thought that clicking on the comments would be a feel-good show of solidarity for Anand, but it looks like it's the end of illusion, the gloves are off, Realpolitik on Anandtech.
GaTech guy was correct. It's a human problem, old as the wind, unsolvable as economic inequality. Anand, my friend, are blessed/cursed with a powerful intellect. You can take a comment made with a half second of effort and go on a tangent of all your insecurities about being an American. There is no need.
In your heart, you know the contribution you have made. Wisdom and time will show that is all the acknowledgement you need. Go forth with a righteous heart, and let your mind be at peace.
Anonymous - Monday, September 13, 2004 - link
Since when is America the best place in the world.Top ten yes, number 1, probably not. But then again it all comes down to criteria.
John - Monday, September 13, 2004 - link
Welcome back Anand,It is good to hear that your honeymoon has (largely) been blissful, it should be!
I am sorry that the incident with the drunk happened to the two of you during your honeymoon, or at all for that matter. Why the ignorant few are so vocal I really do not know, but this seems to be an immutable law of society that crosses all "boundries" such as race, religion, etc.
Unfortunately, it is what it is, and it is a part of the world that we live in and not likely to change. That being said, I suppose that the only thing to remember is that it is not really worth worrying over as this individuals words, while disheartening, are still only words and only have the power to hurt you if you let them. Hopefully sharing this incident with the fans of this site (obviously there are quite a few, which should be encouraging to you) has been theraputic for you, and any other "silent sufferers" who may have had similar incidents.
Take care of yourself and enjoy this time as you make the transition to become a married couple. I have to give you some fair warning, just because you are legally married doesn't mean you are "husband and wife" in the truely internal sense, I feel that it takes time and working through the problems that come about for that to happen. After all, since when has signing a paper made all of life's problems solve themselves? But it is definately worth the struggle, and it sounds as if you are already quite a ways down that path.
John
Todd - Monday, September 13, 2004 - link
Shock, dismay? Reality is, there are racists amongst all races. You will no doubt incounter this many times more. It has nothing to do with you being an "American." Would it be any lesser for a person who was not an American, or paid taxes, or contributed to this and that to have been verbally berated by a drunk?Live your life, don't let others play you like a puppet and your emotions.
Fact is, there will always be people like this.
Can you or I change them? Now, we would all be living in a dream world if you thought we could.